When I was at school people would make fun of my teeth, and call me “Moana the vampire”. I know most kids would usually find this upsetting, but I would go along with it, pretending to be a vampire and chase them away. They screamed and eventually pissed off.
Looking back it shocks me I had such a ‘no fucks’ attitude, given that when you’re young you tend to really ‘give a shit’ about what others think of you. Perhaps it was because I knew eventually I’d get braces and my teeth wouldn’t resemble a blood sucking being. So really it wasn’t ever something for me to really worry about.
Fast forward a few years, and something people would taunt me with, would actually hurt my feelings and did swallow me up from the inside.
“You’re so much prettier with makeup on”
This would be said to me, from various types of people, Friends, family, co workers, throughout my life. Even recently a friend poked fun at my ‘non existent’ eyelashes. And my boss used to think I was sick if I wore hardly any/no makeup.
The truth is, I genuinely believed that to be the case. And when you believe something negative there’s no coming out of the insecure zone, unless you get it together and talk yourself out of it. I used to put makeup on before anyone in the morning saw me. Even at times family members. So silly.
Only in the last couple of years I’ve enjoyed my non makeup face. I don’t mind my freckles and overly large pores. In fact there’s something liberating about chilling out without makeup on, knowing you don’t have to waste time standing in front of a mirror cleaning the war paint off your face.
I have always been fair haired, so my lashes and eyebrows are pretty light and can only be seen through a telescope. But I kinda like that now. I used to dream of having darker hair so my features would stand out more. But that’s just not me.
Having children really stopped me in my tracks and made me more confident. A lot of mums complain about their stomachs “never being the same again” and fuck knows why but I don’t mind my stomach. It’s baggy skinned and covered in stretch marks. But I feel like it doesn’t matter. I feel like women waste far too much time chasing perfection.
Why can’t we be realistic and understand we simply cannot have it all. People have assumed that because I’ve had my lips done, that it was an insecurity of mine. It really wasn’t I just wanted them bigger. And I don’t then look at other women and think ‘hmm you really ought to get your lips done‘ that would just be strange.
We all have ‘something’ the other doesn’t have. And also beauty isn’t placed in one certain box. Beauty really is a spectrum which we’re all firmly placed on. We all see things differently, and we all like things differently.
And when you don’t care about what others think of your looks. That’s when the fun begins. One persons beauty doesn’t tarnish your own.
It comes from the inside, and works it’s way out. That’s the most important part. You can spend tons of money on clothes and Botox. If you never ever truly like who you are. You’ll go to your grave disappointed.