Recently I was abused online for not ‘having a job’. So I thought I’d blog about the highs and lows of what it’s really like to be a ‘stay at home mum’ (SAHM).
There are lots of rewarding, good, highs when being a SAHM. You don’t need to worry about booking time off with work. And half terms/summer holidays are sorted.
You are fully in control with what you do during the week. I choose which play groups, which books, toys, etc the kids get to play with. Rex (2 nearly 3) will be joining nursery full time in Sept, but it’s been so nice to watch him grow, learn and generally just become his own, self at home.
I haven’t missed a thing. I see, hear, and watch it all first hand. During nap time, I can get all the random crap I need doing done. I hate routine (for myself), and every single day is different. I feel so blessed to have been able to spend this much time with them. whilst they’re in their early stages. I have been able to breastfeed longer, and I haven’t had to rock up to a job that I don’t like. The bond I have with my kids is brilliant.
There are genuinely so many good points about being a SAHM. So, yeah, you get the idea that I’m happy with it all…But here’s the bad bits…
people judge you. Seriously. So frequently, it’s a joke. Let me tell you something, I used to work 45+ hours a week. Often doing over time, I have worked since the age of 14 and have always been independent. So cut the crap I’m not living some fucking holiday. This is the hardest thing I’ve done. I love it, wouldn’t change it for the world. But my god, it’s no fucking picnic.
Wiping arses, crying in public because your kids can be little twats (at times), and arguing over iPads isn’t easy. Trying not to swear, teaching them their abcs and numbers, colours, involving yourselves amongst other parents who are far older than me, and have zero interest in me because I don’t own a house or drive a 4×4 is difficult – (not all mums are like this just needing to put a sad example for sympathy). Also being a SAHM can be bloody boring at times. Not speaking to another adult for a whole day can make you go ‘coo coo‘ loopy loo.
That, and the fact we are late pretty much everyday for school (8 year old) is hard work. I peg it for 25 mins every morning. With Rex and Dot having a fight in buggy. Hardly a spring in a ‘I don’t have a job my life is so easy’ step. No, I might not be downing a star bucks, whilst frantically typing away at a desk, and (at times missing lunch) to get work done anymore. But it’s still hard work. In fact my Starbucks at home goes cold now. (First world problems people!!)
Every single job in this world has stressful times. No matter what it is you do. You have no right judging SAHMs at any point in your life.
I have learnt so much about, not only myself but other people during these couple of years.
Because I’m not getting an hourly wage I’m not worthy of peoples sympathy. Or I’m not a human being with actual feelings. Apparently.
My shift doesn’t ever stop. It’s a 24/7 job.
This is no competition, all mothers have it rough, but it was much easier for me personally when I was working. Because it was a break from all of the chaos. If I’m unwell, or the kids are unwell, that’s it. Just us between four walls trying not to kill each other.
When my fiancé has the kids for a weekend or however long. He says things such as “thank god I’m back to work tomorrow”. I wish there was some TV show where they show every fucker who’s ever judged a SAHM mum, then becoming one/a parent themselves. It would be hilarious. Imagine the viewing rates?
So the next time one of you fuckers says “get a job” fine I will. I’ll become a hitman and you’ll be my first hit.
That was obvs a joke.
I’m on my period.