“It’s always about gender with you”
are you sure about that? …..
To all my new followers on twitter, I can assure you I don’t just spend my life arguing with people about gender. You’ve just happened to catch me, at a very bad time. In fact, my latest rant, had nothing to do with gender, yet it was brought into it. And you should know by now, that brings me huge amounts of joy. Because it means that, people are listening.
I have one son and two daughters. They all have girl/boys names. I’ve never told them they aren’t a girl/boy and I never would. But on the flip side, I would also listen, and have empathy if they ever felt that they weren’t either of those things. (A girl or boy).
I’ve seen a bunch of fake news swirling around. About people being offended by ‘snowmen’ not being ‘snowpeople’ or the fact ‘Father Christmas’ is a man. Nope. Sorry. Not believing any of that rubbish. No one is offended by that. Again the right wing media are creating such crap, to steer the conversation away from good decent, gender based arguments/debates and solutions.
Why is it wrong that I want a fair start/chance at life for all three of my children? Regardless of their given sex. YES GENDER AND SEX MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS. Why should we keep placing people into boxes? Raising your children with gender neutral values, does not mean stripping your child’s identity away, in fact it’s doing the opposite. It’s giving them the chance to express/play with any toys they please/ wear whatever clothing/colours/read whatever type of children’s books/ etc. Rex is football mad but also loves playing with baby dolls. Dot loves unicorns but she loves cars too. Florence is obsessed with gymnastics, dinosaurs and Barbie.
In our household we say “firefighter” instead of fireman. For obvious reasons. But if someone were to say “fireman” in front of me/my kids, um, no, I wouldn’t start losing it and throw my toys out the pram, because everyone thinks and feels differently and that’s fine.
I admit when another parent says such phrases as “boys will be boys” around me, I do want to die inside. But I wouldn’t ever correct them, or tell them not to say it.
So why should people I don’t know, or barely know (even if they are distant relatives) tell me or my fiancé how to raise our children? The entitlement is quite scary. Unless you’re harming your child, I couldn’t give a fucking fuck how you raise them. I know that not everyone agrees with our outlook on stuff, but I find it bloody weird telling your son or daughter they can’t play or do certain things just because of their body anatomy.
I’ve had people scream in my face about how left, how much of a snowflake I am, and yet I stood there, calmly responding. You look a bit silly screaming and crying about someone thinking differently to you. People have a lot of anger within them. And they don’t know where to release it to. So they offload on things they do not understand.
People think I HATE the colour pink. I actually don’t. I just hate the gender stereotype that comes with that colour. I don’t want my daughter thinking that’s the main colour of her wardrobe choice. You should know by now, that unless you are being horrible about my children, I’m probably being over dramatic about the things I say with liking and disliking things. My children all have pink items of clothing. They just know BLUE and PINK aren’t the only two options to go for. And there are no restrictions.
In the words of Hannah Gadsby:
But this sort of stuff really does offend people. So my question is… who really is the snowflake here?