Shut up and drive

Why I don’t and won’t drive…

Everyone drives. Pretty much. I mean, unless you live in LDN, then really what’s the point? I get asked a LOT, “what?.. you don’t drive? How come?”So I’ve been thinking.. why don’t I drive? And here’s my thoughts and reasons as to why.

In year 6, I went on a school trip to this place called, kingswood, they had a large track with a bunch of go karts. I was excited about doing this, as I had never been on one before! After five mins of being in one, I crashed into this wired fence, so fast that it left a huge hole. I was banned from using them again. And that pretty much sums up my driving.

I have previously taken driving lessons at the age of 18, and it just wasn’t for me, I found the whole process unnatural and very stressful. Usually you are given the option, to drive home by yourself, after the first lesson. This was never offered to me, because I was dreadful. My driving instructor, would make excuses for me, but I was just plain terrible at driving. After my TENTH lesson, I was still massively shit at driving, I still found it very hard and I didn’t enjoy it, or even got excited over the thought of being able to drive someday. During one of my lessons, I drove straight into a bin, like a huge tin circular bin, and I just couldn’t stop driving. I must’ve driven this bin two minutes down the road. The driving instructor finally lost his shit, and said “I just don’t think this is really working out” that left me feeling even worse about it all.

When I step into a car, I get panicky. I don’t think anyone really knows what they’re doing. One out of three drivers are shit drivers *genuine real life facts from my own research* this makes me feel anxious. The anxiety I get is over powering at times. I no longer do long trips in cars, because it’s too much for me. I can’t sleep in cars anymore, I worry that if I wake up I’ll be dead (no seriously not exaggerating for once it’s no laughing matter). I think it all comes down to trust. I don’t really trust anyone. So I don’t trust anyone’s driving.

It’s also pretty shit for the planet, yeah ok that’s not one of my top reasons why, I’ll admit. But it’s true! Using public transport, is a better option. The world is so over populated you need a few people not wanting to drive, just call me your local super hero for saving the world. It’s also better for your health. I walk EVERYWHERE. People are like “what? That’s an awful long way, are you sure?” And it probably only takes me 20 mins to walk there. I’ve found, when people start to drive, they can (not always) become a little lazy, and rely on their car for 5/10 min journeys, when they don’t really need to drive. I love my food, but I don’t feel as guilty afterwards knowing I’ll be walking home. The kids love being out and about in the buggy, it’s nice fresh air for them.

And most importantly…I don’t wanna! We are all different.

I’ll live my life the way I want, and you can live yours the way you want. It’s as simple as that. Alex x

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3 lies I will always tell

I am always one for honesty, I tell my kids the truth, I am an open book and I’m not afraid to say it like it is. But there are some things in life, which I fib about. I would find it rude otherwise. So here are the three things I ALWAYS lie about…

Tattoos

“Aw that’s really nice” I say, when in my head I’m thinking “fookin ‘ell mate”. I think tattoos are pulled off by certain people, depending on what they are. But still, I’m not going to turn around, to Tina with her Minnie Mouse forehead tat, and tell her it’s crap! A tattoo is with you for life, so I don’t feel comfortable telling someone my real, true opinion on it. And why would they want my opinion anyway? As long as they’re happy with it! Then who cares? But seriously, don’t get someone else’s name put on you for goodness sake!!

Baby names

“Congratulations! Gorgeous name!” PFFFTT! SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET QUICK! Or show me the nearest toilet before I pee my pants!! Your son is white with ginger hair, why the fuck have you named him Kanye?! Yes I know, what a bitchy thing to think and say, but it’s true. I am SO judgemental with baby names, I wouldn’t dare tell you, your child’s got an awful name though. It’s rude, and I’ve had it done to me plenty of times, and it’s not a nice feeling. It really is the one thing (hate to admit this) I agree on with, Katie Hopkins – you can totally judge a child’s character and their parents on what they’ve named their child. Sorry but it’s true. IMO.

Baby clothes

I am genuinely grateful for the people around us who buy our children clothes, or anything in fact! I’m well aware we are privileged compared to so many other families in the world, we are lucky, they are lucky! They actually have clothing on their backs and a roof over their head with food on the table. So when you buy my children anything it’s always appreciated, with that being said, it’s highly probable that I fucking hate it. I mean, not to be rude or anything…but why even bother? You know I’m a strange one, 50% male with a bald head, my taste is very ‘me’. Like I’ve said in a previous post, I took whatever I was given with Florence, mostly second hand so that was that, and look where that got us! Have you seen the size of those pissing JoJo bows she wears *rolls eyes and gags* she’s so girly *shudders* I will not let Dorothy sail down the same river. (For now) she can choose when she’s old enough *really tries and pretends to mean that* unless it’s covered in rainbows, or a rock n roll band tee, a pair of dungarees, gender neutral, something vintage, or something very in your face, or our family fave LITTLE BIRD by Jools Oliver IN MOTHERCARE (take note) the chances are it’s returned to the store and exchanged for something else. HA who am I kidding I take everything back. Sorry not sorry.

Don’t hate me xx

Alex xx

Inspired

I’ve been so inspired recently…

We’ve been painting and hiding rocks, around Hampshire. To raise awareness for foster care in Southampton. A mum at school, named Jo, organised this project #BeMyRock and it’s gotten lots of positive feedback.

Not only does it encourage your little ones, to get creative, it also gets them out of the house for an adventure, to hide them! It’s all for a good cause. Myself and Florence (my 7 yr old) have had some intense/detailed (in a good way) conversations about foster care, including why some children would unfortunately have to go into care, and how it can benefit them, and encourage them to shine. Follow the group “#BeMyRock” on Facebook if you’d like to get involved. All you have to do is paint a few rocks, hide them out and about where ever you please, make sure to write/paint the hashtag on the rocks. If you are to find any, re hide in a different location! It’s been really sweet, hearing from parents, that their children have found our rocks.

We got super duper into it and bought a sack of rocks from Hobby Craft. We’ve hidden some more today at our favourite little park. Hoping it makes someone’s day! I find #BeMyRock campaign on Facebook so simple yet inspiring. Because of this campaign, I’ve decided to take on my own little project.

This summer (when the weather decides to get its act together!) I will be leaving some of my favourite, inspiring, thought provoking books laying around on different park benches, throughout Hampshire and beyond! These books have helped me with my mental health, my relationship, friendship, motherhood and so on.

And they feel just a little bit too precious, to sell on or give away to our local charity shops, which we do, to be fair give a hell of a lot to! I feel as if, if these books were to be found randomly it would make someone’s day, and hopefully inspire them to go on and practise random acts of kindness.

I’ve been inspired to declutter my house, all thanks to my blogging pal @ar_mu. I’ve given away so many things, it feels as if I’ve had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. We had so much crap laying around the house, that we did not need. Seven full sacks were taken to charity shops, but I wanted to hold onto these books, which I loved SO much but no longer needed… so it made sense to combine the two (declutter and be kind) and leave for people who hopefully read and appreciate.

To be honest with you, my mental health has been pretty crappy recently. But with a little help from kind people who’ve tried to help and put a smile on my face, it’s been capable. And I hope to return the favour.

AND some of the books might also awaken a feminism flame within someone HA. 😛

Always bringing it back to the F word.

TTFN

Alex!

❤️

An interview with my little sister Ellice

I love my sister Ellice, she is the funniest person I know, she reminds me so much of Chelsea Handler, loud, sarcastic, blunt, my kinda person.

She’s been through a lot, so much, for someone so young, so here’s me picking at her brain, to find out things such as – what it’s like to be a gay woman in today’s world & what it’s like finding a dead body!

1. What’s your fave Disney movie?

I’m not too crazy about Disney (Disneyland rides have scarred me for life) but I’ll say the jungle book.

2. What do you think the meaning of life is?

I guess it would be happiness, in my eyes many people are alive but they’re not living, so be happy and take risks.

3. Do you want to have children one day?

Yes, two.

4. Where is your happy place?

Going to sound like a melt, but with Charlotte.

5. Was coming out to your family and friends scary? Do you remember how you told us all?

Yes it was. I knew there was going to be mixed opinions, you were the first person I told and you were lovely about it. Mum then found out told dad and he was like no shit Sherlock! And then tori found out after that.

6. Do you think the stigma surrounding the LGBT community is getting better or worse?

I definitely think it’s getting better, still a long way to go.

7. What’s your earliest memory?

Trying to open a freddo bar on a family camping trip, by the time we got back to camp it had melted as you and tori had stormed off and mum opened it there.

8. What’s the last text message you received say and who was it from?

Gonna start my uni work now babe hope you’re having a good day love you xxx – Charlotte

9. Describe yourself in three words

Sarcastic, caring, and forgiving

10. What’s a piece of advice you’d give your younger self?

Intelligence isn’t everything.

11. What was your least fave thing about school?

No other girls were good at football.

12. What was it really like finding a dead body and have you recovered from it?

I didn’t need to recover. I know that sounds awful because he is someone’s family member, but I didn’t react the same way as the people I was with. I was offered therapy by the police but I didn’t take it, I just thought I don’t need it why would you offer me that? The hardest part was a few years later, his son contacted me to ask if he looked ‘a mess’ when he died, because he died of a heroin overdose.

13. Do you believe there’s a god?

No, if there was one, why are so many shit things happening in the world.

14. If you could change one thing about me what would it be?

To have the confidence, to tell certain people to stick their opinions where the sun don’t shine, and not let them get to you.

15. Describe your childhood growing up in Guernsey?

To be brutally honest pretty shit.

16. If you could travel back in time for one day where would you go and what would you do?

I’d be a fly on the wall, of the night Madeline McCann went ‘missing’

17. What’s it like being the youngest sister?

You always get hand me down school uniform, but you do get away with more!

18. Drugs or pugs?

Pugs! All you need is pugs

19. Tell us something you think we wouldn’t already know about you?

When we were younger, I used to steal a couple of pounds from dads pocket to buy sweets haha. Sorry dad.

20. Name a place you’re desperate to get to before you die?

Las Vegas

21. Name three objects you couldn’t live without?

iPhone , vape and Xbox

22. Describe your fashion sense?

All branded.

23. The biggest lie you’ve ever told someone?

I love you.

24. If you had to eat a meal for the rest of your life what would it be?

Chicken Caesar salad

25. A night out or a night in?

Night in! I’ve changed.

26. What’s your fave thing about your girlfriend Charlotte?

She gets me

27. How are you finding it with your new pug coco?

It’s tiring, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. He’s a very loyal, loving puppy.

28. Who was the first celeb crush you ever had?

Angelina Jolie

29. What would you say to someone who is thinking about coming out but is too scared to?

Being true to yourself, and others is extremely important in order to find happiness. There’s plenty of support out there. Anyone who doesn’t accept you for who you are, isn’t worth being in your life.

30. Name your funeral song?

I’m yet to decide!

31. Who is your inner spirit animal?

A condor- courage, dignity and a good eye to detail.

32. Are you a feminist?

Duh I’m not a bellend! Of course.

33. Best thing you’ve watched on Netflix?

Amanda Knox guilty!

34. Your fave thing about mum and dad?

Mum is caring and cute lol and dad is hilarious.

35. Worst hangover to date?

The first night I went to Manchester I was being sick in a mop bucket for a solid 12 hours, then didn’t leave my bed for two days. The smell, nah wasn’t good.

36. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

37. Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time?

Haha yes!

38. Your fave scent?

Gucci by Gucci

39. Describe your ten year old self?

A smelly tomboy.

40. Name a skill you’d like to learn one day?

Boxing

41. Do you think star signs are correct?

No

42. Snog, marry or kill : Kylie Jenner, Khloe Kardashian or Kendall Jenner?

Straight away I’ll say kill Kylie, snog Kendall and marry Khloe! And shag Kourtney…I know that wasn’t an option but throwing it in anyway!

43. Adidas or Nike?

Now that’s hard… Adidas for clothing and Nike for shoes.

44. Favourite room in the house?

Bedroom.

45. The worst myth out there about being a lesbian?

That “a good dick will change you” um no bore off

46. If you had to swap lives with an animal what would it be?

A dog! Eat sleep and play sounds good.

47. Do you think Theresa May is a good PM?

I’m not a massive one for politics, but I don’t think so.

48. What’s the meanest thing myself and Tori have done to you?

Tori tried to put me in the bin when I was a baby.

49. Pizza or Chinese?

Chinese 100%

50. Halloween or valentines?

Halloween.

51. Who do you go to for advice?

Charlotte, mainly, but I go to you and mum too

52. Apart from your main immediate family, (mum, dad, sisters, nieces, nephew) who is your fave family member?

Lewis our cousin, decent geezer.

53. What’s your opinion on Brexit?

We should exit Brexit

54. Would you rather have legs made of spaghetti or arms made of strawberry laces?

Legs made of spaghetti I need my arms oi oi

55. Worst song in the world?

Anywhere by Rita ora

56. Do you enjoy being an auntie?

Of course it’s a different kind of love.

57. Snapchat or instagram?

SC

58. What was the last meal you ate?

McDonald’s Big Mac and wut wut

59. Someone you’d like to have coffee with?

Simon Pegg

60. Book you’d like to read?

I don’t read and I don’t want to, I get a lot of judgement for that but I just don’t find it interesting.

61. Is Kanye West a genius?

Not in the slightest

62. If you could speak a different language what would it be?

German

63. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Slurping

64. If you ruled the world what’s the first change you’d make?

Equal pay for women, in every industry from politics to football.

65. Heels or flats?

Heels I absolutely love them…HAAA how is this even a question cmon!

66. What’s more important kindness or intelligence?

Kindness

67. Fave snack at Xmas time?

Pigs in blankets

68. The best gift you’ve ever received?

My watch for my 21st thanks Muvva

69. Name the best meal you can cook?

Beans on toast mate

70. If you were a hashtag what would it be?

#LesbiansOnTour

71. Cardi B or Nicki Minaj?

Cardi B

72. Being a woman in the world we live in today is?

I believe it’s tough but it’s also powerful. Women are beginning to speak up, and it’s amazing to see. One day the sexes will be equal, if we continue in this direction.