Times up on times up

Last night in central London, that big fancy event known to us mere mortals, The Baftas, took place. All hell broke loose over social media, because a preggers woman who chose not to wear black, for the Times Up, movement rocked up to the event. That woman happens to be Kate Middleton.

First things first, feminism is all about choice. A woman should choose what to do, wear, say, or think how they feel. Royalists aren’t really allowed to get involved with politics, protests etc so perhaps that was the case. Perhaps not? And you know what, she’s allowed to do as she pleases.

Modern Feminism is pissing me off. You’re making us look like idiots. Deeds not words my friends.

I’m sick of the Times Up movement if I’m honest. Talented actors getting high off of an ego boost declaring their disgust towards sexual harassment. Don’t get me wrong so they should, but it’s hard to take them seriously when they’ve all worked along side rapists, misogynistic pricks, throughout their careers. No this isn’t victim blaming it’s the facts. Scarlet johansson, calling out an actor, (James Franco) for wearing a times up pin to an awards ceremony when she’s worked with Woody Allen?! Give me a break.

It upsets me, because the main focus of these movements is to rightfully erase sexual harassment in the workplace, to call it out and make an end to it, once and for all. But it’s all become a “look at me” “I’m the best feminist” competition. Recently on Twitter Lena Dunham wrote a tweet saying something along the lines of : “Women do not lie about rape” I do totally agree with this but weeks afterwards when someone accused her friend of rape, she then announced she was standing by him throughout the allegations. I’m bored of it Hollywood. There has been bickering amongst the women, who’ve organised and worked hard with Times Up, all over who’s just jumped onto band wagon last minute to claim the glory etc, it’s all playground nonsense.

The only person I really take seriously is Rose McGowan, yes admittedly she is not a likeable character. But I smell authenticity every time she speaks. Unlike the rest. She has removed herself from the Hollywood scene, to concentrate on being an activist. She has made it clear, how she feels about Times Up and Me Too, letting us all know that the people at the very top who are funding/supporting these movements are super corrupt.

How about boycotting these events? That’ll surely make a stir. The colour black does not really cut it if I’m honest. Victims deserve more.

So Times Up, here’s what’ll make me take you seriously…

Stop crying about pins

Stop attacking women for their choices on what to wear

Stop working with rapists, abusers, misogynistic bellends

Stop attacking each other on who’s put more work in on the movement

And the I might take you more seriously.

My heart and the fire in my belly, belongs to the brave women and men who’ve come forward with their heartbreaking stories, you are the soul of this movement not these egotistical A listers.

P.s Kate I thought you looked STUNNING last night. Green looks great on you.

Alex.

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An honest review : Disneyland Paris

I was that child, who was lucky enough to experience several trips to Disneyland.

I’d been previously with Florence at 10 months old, but this was our first time going all together. We had booked well in advance, and chose the Explorers hotel as our place of passing out at the end of day.

The Explorers hotel, does smell of chlorine and feet, but it is a child’s paradise. The pool is amazing with two flume slides, and an indoor play area. The pizza restaurant is like a school canteen, and the main dining area is a large space, with just rows and rows of tables. It’s not a fine dining experience just a quick in and out situation, which is ideal when you’re situated right by the park itself.

There’s a shuttle stop, right outside the hotel doors, which does hourly drop offs to the park. This was quick and simple to use, very handy. Everyone does ram onto it so it’s not the most comfortable of experiences. It’s a bit like rush hour on tube, but more wobbly.

Plan your day out before you enter. There’s no point wondering round and round, with no clue of which way to head. It’s such a magical experience for all, but especially for the kids it can get a bit overwhelming so try to be patient. They’ll get tired very quickly. We got both babies to nap easily in buggy, but Flops who is 6 had to walk around all day and you forget at times how far she has been traipsing about. So when eating lunch take your time and rest for an hour or so. It’s tempting to shove food down your throat, to carry on with the magic but it’s good for kids to rest. There are different shows on in separate parks, which is a good place to rest, two birds one stone right there.

Everything inside of the park is fucking expensive. A key ring I bought for Florence was ten quid. So when it comes to spending money save up as much as poss. Balloons, sweets and toys are scattered all over the park be prepared for “MUMMY” “DADDY” “CAN WE HAVE THIS??!”

I am a total foodie, love my healthy food also love my not so healthy food, but be prepared to be sickened by the site of chips and burgers, hotdogs and so on fairly quick. Fast food is the only way to go in Disneyland which sucks really. I was surprised Flops and Rex hadn’t actually turned into a chicken nugget by the end of it.

Yes take some pics and vids but take it all in properly. Finding pics to upload up in this blog post, and I didn’t have a lot. Which is good it means I was too busy having fun. All you see is people with their shitty selfie sticks. Does my head in.

We couldn’t be arsed to queue up, for a picture with a Disney character. We wanted to crack as many rides out as we could. We went for three days so we were under a ticking time bomb to do as much in both parks. Taking it in turns with Mitch, which fast rides to go on was easy and simple. They let you swap over at end of ride, so one of you is always looking after babies.

By the end of the day you’ll feel drained. Being overly positive and energetic about Disney does ware you out pretty quick. But this place really is the place that’ll go down, forever in their memories, so suck it up and make it work. You won’t be here forever and once you’re gone you’ll miss it. No matter how stressful it gets. Because trust me it does get stressful. Everywhere I looked there was a child being shouted at by their parents. Florence had a tantrum ten minutes into being in the park, over the dumbo ride being twenty mins queuing time. Which she soon learnt was NO time at all. Rex and Dorothy hadn’t a clue what was going on. We won’t be returning until all can appreciate.

To save pennies, buy one big toy or outfit for last day. That saves you having to get lots of toys throughout the holiday. They don’t need lots of treats, just being at Disneyland is a huge treat. We didn’t stay for fireworks our three were far too worn out. Kudos to those parents who managed to fight their way through that!! Going in December was one of the best decisions we made, all wrapped up you don’t feel the cold, you’re walking about all day long and there’s not as many people. It was extra magic as all the Christmas decorations were hung out. It felt so festive and the lights, once it went dark were truly gorgeous.

At the end of the day, there will be plenty of ups, but there will be downs. You can’t expect your kids to behave the whole time whilst you’re there. I know it’s hard because you’ve spent so much money to be there, but they don’t understand that right now. One day they will and I hope they buy you a fancy birthday card one year. Don’t take it to heart, it’s tiring and I’m in no rush to go back! I loved it but I feel like I need a holiday after going.

Alex

Put ‘em away please

I love scrolling through Instagram. It’s my fave out of the social media clan. I love seeing all of your cute baby pictures. I even love seeing those cringe quotes. One thing I’ve noticed with Instagram recently, is the rise of breastfeeding pictures.

Before you start to sharpen your pitchfork, I’ve breast fed all three of my children, I’m still currently breastfeeding my third child who is four months old. So I’ve been around the breastfeeding block a few times. When I gave birth, the first time, the unique selling point for me, was the fact that breastfeeding was and is free. I didn’t really have an opinion on breastfeeding at first, the hospital staff told me it was natural and better for baby, back then I had an unimpressive diet of sugary drinks and pizza, so god knows how that was going to be any good for my baby. Florence latched on really well and I had no issues what so ever. I stopped breastfeeding Florence at ten months, because one day, she decided to go full on vampire diaries on my nipple. Breastfeeding for the second time with Rex, was a totally different story. Hated every minute of it and boy wasn’t he always hungry. So I caved and decided to formula feed as well as BF. The moment he had formula he was so relaxed, I’d never seen him so content in my life. I felt like a failure, I felt like he deserved better, and that he was going to end up being really stupid, because formula was introduced to him fairly early at 2 months. Looking back, I now know that’s bloody pathetic. But that fear, that anxiety, was stemmed by judgemental breastfeeders.

“Breast is best” those words were rammed down my throat very early on, with my first pregnancy. “Ok fine” I thought. Like I have said previously it was free so of course it was my first choice. Getting your milk to come through, is not enjoyable in the slightest. It’s achey and uncomfortable, and at times you feel like you don’t have the energy to continue, especially when you’ve just given birth, it’s just another load of tough shit to deal with.

All labour experiences vary. All of our stories are different. So guess what…so are breastfeeding experiences. Sometimes complications from labour can affect a woman’s choice with which feeding route they go down. A huge loss of blood or even being in labour for hours on end is enough to break a woman. And women are fucking strong. So don’t think for one second, that a woman would’ve just given up their first feeding choice easily.

If you’re a mother who chose bottle feeding as their first choice. You know what, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t make the process of bringing a mini human up any easier. We are all in the same boat.

The reason why breastfeeding selfie takers piss me off, is because of their smugness about the whole process. “I just want to take a picture of myself feeding my child what’s the big deal?” Well that’s my point exactly….what’s the big deal? Why do we need to see a dozen pictures of you feeding your child. If it is SO natural, if it is SO great, why aren’t you taking in that great moment by putting your phone down? We all know you don’t get that perfect selfie in one go, so you’re probably spending about ten minutes staring at your own face. Smug.

Not only that it’s quite boring.

recently I got into a little twitter debate with a woman. She told me there was no such thing as ‘casting judgement upon formula feeding mums only on breastfeeding mums’ what a load of rubbish. I’ve witnessed midwives, doctors, nurses, family members, even friends being judgemental on formula feeding mums. “Everyone can do it” that phrase isn’t true. After feeding three different children with my boobs I can confirm it’s hard and not for everyone. I wanted to give up the this time round with Dorothy, and I still don’t particularly enjoy it much now if I’m honest with you. I’ve never treasured moments of feeding, I have cuddled and kissed them during their feeds and that’s the only thing that keeps me going, but will it be something I look back on and think “wow loved doing that” fuck no.

Before you breastfeed for the first time, the milk comes through at different times. It’s draining mentally and physically. I don’t think all women were supposed to breastfeed. Just like natural labour, I simply cannot unless I’m being cut open.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. And breastfeeding mums come across very passive aggressive and judgemental. I’ve seen a lot of “breastfeeding warrior” type phrases in some people’s twitter bio. How ‘oooo look at me’ is that? So what? Would you like a medal? Unfortunately we don’t do breastfeeding medals, perhaps re naming you ‘Mother-nature’ or ‘Pocahontas’ will do?

Mothers have enough going on, without feeling inadequate. I’m all for doing what you please unless you’re harming anyone else, and boasting, judging and put downs on other mothers who don’t BF is just that.

Words are the new ‘punch in the face’ we are always on our phones, tapping away, saying what we feel, not thinking about how those words really could get to somebody. If you want to take a selfie with your tits out on display feeding your baby then, whatever I guess…..I do find it strange but be my guest, do as you please, but perhaps think twice about the caption you choose to go with it. It really could bring another mum down today.

If you think you’re better than another mum for breastfeeding your child, get off your smug high horse because you are not.

And no offence……but breastfeeding your child over the age of 3 in my opinion is a bit….well bitty.

Alex