My six year old Daughter thinks she’s fat

 
Two years ago Florence and I were shopping in West Quay, she needed to go to the toilet so we dashed quickly to John Lewis. As we bundled into the toilet cubicle she asked me “Can you please turn around I don’t want you to see my fat legs”

 I’m not one to be at a loss for words, but I was just that. I blurted out “What?!” She then said it again “I have fat legs”. 

I was really shocked but also very confused, how could a (at the time 4 year old) possibly think she was fat? Was it something she saw or read? Or was it something I had said? Or was it all just for some attention!? All these thoughts circled around my head, like a spinning wheel making me feel sick and dizzy. 

At first I pretended it didn’t happen, which really was/is so out of character for me. But I think the thought of my little baby thinking she was fat was selfishly too much for me to acknowledge. Five months went by and it happened again, she walked past a mirror and burst into tears, I immediately asked her what was wrong to then she replied “just look at my legs they are so fat” I’d had enough this wasn’t a ‘phase’ or an attention seeking situation, my daughter was being genuine about thinking these sad thoughts. 

I researched on google (as every Mother does) trying to find other parents going through the same thing, and sadly I wasn’t alone. Lots of children age 3 and upwards have issues with the way they look, Whether it’s issues with what their facial  features are or their body lots of children especially girls do not like what they see when they stand in the mirror. I decided to start having more regular baths with Florence, I’ve always had a very ‘average’ body I like my food and I won’t stop eating for anyone! So I thought if she could see what I looked like more it wouldn’t bother her as much. Whenever I’d get ready in the morning Florence would always tell me that I looked ‘beautiful’ which was very sweet, if she could find beauty in other people why couldn’t she do it with herself? 

At around the same time Barbie had started a new campaign by making ‘curvier’ barbie dolls which brought SO much backlash from parents/non parents saying phrases such as “let kids be kids” or “this is why children are so messed up these days! I never had issues with the way I looked this will make it worse” and to be honest before all of this I probably would’ve felt the same way but children of today are facing new challenges that we never used to experience. Florence doesn’t watch reality tv or anything like that she’s 6, she doesn’t read adult/teenage magazines and she doesn’t watch my tv shows so where was all of this coming from? I’ve never used words such as ‘diet’ or spoken about losing weight etc around her. This is a social issue this is the sort of crap our children are unfortunately going through at such an early age it frightens me for what the future brings. 

After finally accepting this was reality I had to try and change things. The more research I had done, the more books I had read and the more documentaries I had watched, I was starting to learn that a lot of it was to do with the stereotypes we push on our children (here she goes again). No parent wants their child to feel like crap boy or girl but we all unintentionally feed into the stereotypes which have such an impact. If you don’t have this issue with your Daughter you’ll probably think I’m being dramatic but truth is you have to take this subject with an open mind and a ton of empathy. Which unfortunately people these days do tend to lack in. 

The reason I felt the need to write this blog post was watching Pink accept her award at the VMAs last night, she spent her acceptance speech telling us all a story about her Six year old Willow confessing  about her thoughts of being ‘ugly’ this had me in tears. If someone as bad ass like Pink had the same issues with her Daughter Willow then maybe this wasn’t pushed or brought on by me. I had guilt eating me up for so long thinking it had to be something I had done. Pink is the kind of woman who doesn’t fit into the norm of gender stereotype, she’s always been a little punk rock with short hair with a muscle build, I see a little similarity as I’ve had every coloured hair you could possibly imagine and I’m 9 times out of ten wearing men’s clothes.

 It’s cool to be different but how could I make Florence aware of this? Especially when she’s so small with Golden Princess worthy hair, rocking Cara Delivingne eye brows and the cutest dimples you’d ever laid your eyes on. 

I’ve decided to pick out pictures of gorgeous inspiring curvy women, women of all shapes and sizes who are most likely picked on every day for their size but carry on doing their thing because they don’t care about other people’s opinions, and I will show them to her tomorrow. Florence is aware of so many inspiring women she knows that her name Florence comes from Florence Nightingale a really intelligent, caring, awesome woman who achieved so much, she’s switched on in that way she knows women can go out and achieve and do whatever they please but when it comes to body imagine she’s not so sure she believes unless you are very skinny you are not pretty. 

I want my daughter to know and realise one day that being called ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ are the most pathetic and least offensive things you could call someone. I have reached such a mentality now that if someone calls you out on your appearance or your weight they really are lacking in brain cells/just real insecure with themselves or very immature. Being called out for your personality is far worse in my opinion. Imagine being boring … poor things. 

I beg women to stop doing this to eachother, We have all been women for far too long now to kick our own side down. When we use words such as Ugly or fat we are ruining everything that women have fought over for so long. Do not listen to those trashy magazines about so and so from Eastenders putting two stone on or Kendall Jenner fighting ‘acne’ issues who gives a fuck? Women are being raped every twenty minutes in India give a fuck about that. I’ve stated at the beginning that these stereotypes are brought on us but that does not mean we have to continue them. Ladies there’s more to life about the way we look! Keep this up I’ll have to shave my hair off every year at this rate. Stop focusing on looks, do not talk about weight or exercise (in the hope of losing more weight) around your kids. Inspire them to be ‘fit’, ‘healthy’ and ‘strong’ eat your greens but also treat yourself to an ice cream every now and then! life is too short and women are too important to feel this way.

Here are the Women who are unapologetically being themselves 

Christina Hendricks ❤️

 

Ashley Graham 
 
Jordan Woods 
 

Adele 

 

Beauties !!! 

Love Alex 

The women who inspire me

 
Giiiiiiirls when we support one another magical shit happens. I want all of you to tell the women in your life who inspire you that they are amazing. For some crazy reason (well I know the reasons but I don’t want to do another feminazi rant…not in this post anyway) we tend to not have a lot of confidence when we should. 

Here are the women who inspire me daily, who push me to learn, create and love life a little more. 
First up 
 
QUEEN Serena Williams 

Pretty self explanatory but this woman is iconic. A sporting legend, and in my opinion the greatest athlete of all time. Her determination and strength (both physically and mentally) is super inspiring. She will go down in history for all the right reasons. Thank you for teaching young girls, all over the world that they can like you be great athletes. 
 
Marina Abramović 

An artist that has always pushed the boundaries and caused controversy. I feel as if she’s someone the world won’t fully understand just how brilliant she is/was until she leaves us. The definition of brave. 

 

Lady Gaga 

My favourite singer. She’s someone who is so great at singing, that she sounds better live than she does on CD. She stands up for us weirdos who don’t feel like we fit in. Watching her perform live is a vision of art and beauty. People don’t realise that before Gaga came along no one was doing the whole club/pop music thing, she started that whole era. She inspired other artists to wear crazy coloured wigs and costumes (even though they won’t admit it cough Katy Perry cough Nicki Minaj). Another artist who has always pushed the boundaries. Her music really does help me through my depression, and I’ll be a fan until the day I die. 

Malala Yousafazi 

When I read Malala’s book ‘I am Malala’ I had tears in my eyes the whole time. I only cry when something really upsets me or when I’m inspired/passionate about something, and Malala is someone I tend to get teary eyed over, every time I see or hear her speak. We all wish we had Malala’s strength and bravery because there really is nothing like it. Such a powerful, strong, intelligent and inspiring woman and I’m so grateful to be alive to witness it all. I thank Malala a million times over, for being able to show my daughter that a woman with a brain and a love for education is a rebellious act. 
 
The Suffragettes 

Again tears and goosebumps EVERY time these ladies pop up in my brain. Can you even imagine how courageous these women were?! in a time where things were SO backwards *Donald Trumps ultimate dream*  Mitch has always said I would’ve been a suffragette, but I don’t think I would’ve been brave enough. Just imagine where we would be now, if it weren’t for these incredibly awesome kick ass women?! Actually don’t I don’t want to even think about it *shudder*. Because of these ladies I’ll never stop having feminist rants. Thank you 👏🏻 
 
Princess Diana 

My earliest ever memory was finding out about the passing of Princess Diana, that just shows what an impact that woman had on my life, and everyone else’s. She had so much empathy for people. She cared it wasn’t fake, she really did care. Princess Diana always put those in need first. She was one of the very first people, that the media became obsessed over. Unfortunately she was taken too soon, but we see her morals/integrity being passed down to William & Harry and it’s lovely to see. 
 
Chelsea Handler 

She makes me pee my pants, Cmon I am pregnant don’t judge me! Apart from being hilarious which in my opinion is far more important than being pretty, she is using her platform for a good reason : making fun of Donald Trump. In all seriousness on her Netflix talk show ‘Chelsea’ she talks and debates about politics, (which is rare for a comedian) taking a stand against her shitty president in a very funny manner. I think she’s a great feminist with a big brain. 
 

Michelle Obama 

The reason I wish I could pause, rewind and recreate time. Could the Obamas PLEASE come back?! This lady is the epitome of class. When they go low she goes high. She comes across so authentic and cool, I wish I was like Michelle Obama she really is life goals. 

 

Iris Apfel 

My ultimate Fashion icon simply because she doesn’t give a fuck. She doesn’t care what you think, she does her thing and makes us all look incredibly boring whilst doing so. She has always had style. At 95 years old she still continues to live life to the fullest and wear her colourful, uplifting clothes. Iris Apfel taught me it’s fine to be different. Iris Apfel has said some of my all time favourite quotes one being : “When you don’t dress like everyone else you don’t have to think like everyone else” that’s always sat with me because it’s very true. 
And last…but not least … 
 

Florence 

Florence taught me how to love hard, and also how to love myself. If it weren’t for Florence I honestly think I’d be alone and drunk at ALL times. I know it’s different for all women and people in general but becoming a Mother (for me) has given me such purpose and joy. I look at the world and think differently because of you and I thank you for that my darling. She really has a heart of gold, and hates to see people upset whether it be myself or a stranger on the street, it really gets her down to see someone else in pain. You push me to be a better person, I even eye roll less *at times* because of you. X

Sylvanian families review : Sky Ride Adventure with Toy Poodle Family

  
Sylvanian families review : Sky Ride Adventure with Toy Poodle Family 

Florence has always loved Sylvanian families since she was a little diddy polly pocket. I’ve never had a problem with spending money on Sylvanian families because they’re made so well, and Florence has had her imagination boosted through playing with them. 

The Sky ride adventure is a brilliant, fun addition to Florence’s Sylvanian families collection. What we both love about the ‘Sky Ride’ is that you can take it anywhere with you it’s light and easy to carry meaning you can take out in the garden or to the park for some great outdoor adventures making the Sky ride seem more realistic. 

  

Florence has really taken to The Poodle Family. She loves their little cute colour coordinating outfits and says “Everyone is in love with puppy’s these are the sweetest” 

The Poodle Family love having a quick picnic stop on their blanket, before heading back into the Sky Ride for some more magical adventures. (Picnic set included with the Sky Ride Adventure) 

 

Every Sylvanian family set is fun and adorable, but the Sky Ride Adventure is perfect for all kinds of different settings. We are such a busy family we’re always on the go with long days out (especially in the summer holidays) and we look forward to our new friends The Poodle Family joining us on their Sky Ride. 

Our favourite features : 

– The picnic set 

– The baby seat at the front of the Sky Ride 

– The little blue birdy who sits on the side of the Sky Ride 

– The picnic blanket 

– The Daisy yellow and orange print on the balloon of Sky Ride 

Florence gives 10/10 for these toys. Perfect for your little explorers who’re always on the move this Christmas or birthday. I hope this has given you some ideas for Christmas if you haven’t already checked out the Sylvanian Families website it’s : 
http://sylvanianfamilies.net/uk/mb/ 

Check them out for more adorable products. Christmas is just around the corner and we cannot wait! 

Hope you found the review helpful any questions just go ahead and ask. 
Please like and share if you liked this blog post spread the word 🙂 

Thanks Alex 
X

How to get revenge in ten simple steps

When life throws you lemons catch them and throw them back even harder…catchy right?! Everyone has shitty moments in their lives with Friends, relationships, family members or jobs and sometimes you find out the hard way that the people you thought loved and cared for you don’t actually give a damn. 

It’s so easy to act out in an aggressive manner and get ‘even’ by lashing out and using just as hurtful words or actions. I am such an argumentative person, but I’ve learnt that actually being nice pisses people off even more than being mean. 

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of getting mad at EVERYTHING that the person you don’t like does, such as words they use or over analysing their actions and thinking the worst. This ain’t healthy! Snap out of it. The hardest things in life sometimes make us the happiest and healthiest. That’s why it always feels like a victory when you’ve done something good. 

Here are my 10 classy ways of getting revenge because you gotta do you and put YOU first. 

Step 1 

Pause take a step back. Think about what you’re doing and do not retaliate in a petty way. Responses such as “I’m sorry you feel that way I’ll leave you be” is a good one, gets you out of the nasty conflict in a polite manner. When you put yourself first in these situations you’ll be able to process it all simpler and quicker and also you won’t have the toxic anxiety re thinking about how and why you reacted in a hurtful manner, achieving nothing. 

Step 2 

When you’ve taken yourself out of the toxic mess, take some time out for yourself at least three to four times a week do something for you. Doesn’t have to be something which involves money, could just be reading a book or watching one of your favourite films. Painting your own nails or having a nice bath. These little things can calm you and take your mind off of the fallout. 

Step 3 

Eating better and doing a little exercise will keep the anxiety and worries away and also takes focus off of the drama. I wouldn’t ever ask you to do something horrendous such as : stop eating chocolate, but cutting back on sugary foods will make you feel so much better. 

Step 4 

Appreciate the good things you’ve got going on in your life : your family, and friends could be a project you’re working on or a hobby you love so much you get lost in. Write down 5 things every week you’re grateful for, because someone out there would kill to have what you have. 

Step 5 

If the people you’ve fallen out with continue to say or do hurtful things, react in a way they wouldn’t expect : being kind. I love killing people with kindness and offering to do things for them knowing they’d never ever offer to do those things for me, because it’ll piss them off even more and gives yourself peace of mind. If they don’t invite you to an event, or if they ignore you in public invite them let them know they’re welcome and wave and say hi it’ll throw them off and make them feel pretty immature compared to your kindness and integrity. 

Step 6 

Learn from the pain. We all go through difficult situations but not all us learn from it. The saying ‘history repeats itself’ is around for a reason. People tend to repeat and repeat when it comes to dealing with life’s troubles, this makes you look like a twot be better. 

Step 7 

Never ever hold grudges that shit is dead boring. Move on. You don’t have to ‘like’ this person, you can see this person for what they truly are and yet move on. There’s no point trying to hold onto sour feelings you’re only going to hurt yourself. Have fun and be happy it drives them crazy. 

Step 8 

Teach your kids by your actions not your words. There have been times when I’ve had to be around people I cannot stand, and yet I’ve been civil and polite in front of my children showing them I have integrity. Again this will totally throw them off and make them look like losers, and probably won’t have the back bone to react in a similar way but who cares it makes you look like a boss and a legend in front of your kids. Want your children to be petty or strong minded? Then act out in ways you’d want them to. 

Step 9 

Don’t get dragged into the tit for tat petty drama. When you don’t reply and become silent your silence speaks a thousand words. 

Step 10

When you do all these things, in time eventually something spectacular will happen : you will no longer care. You will no longer mind the outcome of their actions or their words will never hurt you. And actually you’ll sympathise and want more for them. It’s taken me a good few years to get to this place. Certain people would give me crippling anxiety I lost my personality and came across cold and quiet now I can stand tall with a smile on my face because, I no longer care. This doesn’t mean I want anything horrible to ever happen to these people, I just hope and wish they eventually get peace of mind like I’ve done and move on. Doing all these steps meant I could go ahead and achieve and do the things I’ve always wanted to do. I always wanted to take blogging seriously, I haven’t been doing it long but I’ve received a few exciting emails and have amazing things coming this way. My fitness has been it’s best in years even at 29 weeks pregnant I’m smaller than I was pre children. Putting yourself and your loved ones first is the ultimate revenge. 
Love Alex 
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Five things I’ve learned from shaving my head

I always wanted to shave my head just to see what it would actually look and feel like.   

So last year I finally went ahead and did it. I raised a few hundred pounds for a children’s cancer charity and I felt good for it (needed to get rid of some well over due karma) so it was a win-win situation. 

People’s reactions to me getting my head shaved were so divided, some thought I was having a mental ‘Britney Spears break down’ and others thought I was doing a really selfless brave thing. Either way as always nobody’s opinions put me off because once I have my heart set on something no one can stop me. 

I would’ve loved to have had my head shaven for longer I kept it up for 4 months before getting fed up because my hair grew back so quickly and thick that it was too much hassle to keep up. 

Here are the five things I learnt from shaving my head : 

1. People expect women to look a ‘certain’ way 

A few people would ‘joke’ about me looking like a boy or would ask me “you’re having a break down aren’t you? Not really the done thing for women” It’s mad that in 2017 people have this one image of what they think women should look like and anyone else is a miss fit/odd ball. Women can look  and dress whatever the fcuk they want to. 

2. People do stare at ‘different’ 

I had never given it much thought before shaving my head about what it would be like for someone being stared at on a daily basis example: people who are in a wheelchair or have a disability. There were times where I was just doing everyday things such as looking around shops or getting my daily coffee and people would start talking to me with a softer tone of voice being sympathetic towards me assuming I was ill, one time a member of staff at Starbucks told me my mocha was free! By that point I just eye rolled and blurted I’M NOT UNWELL. I found it all very patronising and irritating. I have no idea how some people put up with that everyday people just want to be treated like people – equal. 

3. Being vulnerable makes you more confident 

Having no hair meant (for me) not being  able to hid away my face and use it as a shield. My blemishes, head bumps, moles, and spots were on show 24/7. It made me appreciate my face more and I over came the fear of having everything on display and fell in love with my flaws. 

4. Having hair is over rated 

Hair on your head is good for one thing – keeping your head warm. That’s pretty much it. You don’t need long fancy hair to be attractive/hot. There’s more to us than the outside. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. 

5. My boyfriend loves me for me not for what I look like 

If I ever did *touch wood* fall ill I won’t worry over my boyfriend not finding me attractive anymore. He’s seen me with no hair, no make up, depressed, anxious, and still thinks I’m pretty. Being in a vulnerable place does make you realise and see the good things in front of you. When it comes to people’s negative reactions/thoughts about you doing something ‘brave’ or ‘different’ it will always make you a better person so throw yourself into whatever it is that you want to do but fear because it will help you grow. 

Thanks love Alex 
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