Things I don’t want you to say to me while I’m preggers 

 

Being pregnant has its major ups and downs and with such rollercoaster emotions some things are most definitely better left unsaid. You’ve been warned…  

  1. “Was it planned?” – Why would anyone think that’s ok to ask? You want me to roll out my fertility chart? I don’t think so. 
  2. “This is going to be your last right?” – ummmm none of your business buddy. 
  3. “How can you afford it?” – Didn’t you guys know I have a magic money tree in my back garden? 
  4. “You’ll be have a football team soon”- last time I checked there were 11 players on a football team… or maybe I’m wrong and I just have better things to do than watch over paid badly hair styled men kicking a sphere into a netted area. 
  5. “Where are you going to fit them all?” – Well…have you ever seen the movie Harry Potter? 
  6. “Please don’t name it anything too weird” – ok Bill you know what you’re right I’ll go for something as plain and boring like your name/friends/hobbies/parents/life Or maybe not. 
  7. “Gosh you’re getting big you must be eating a lot” – I’m giving you ten seconds to run before I eat you. 
  8. “You’re going to breastfeed right?” – Stop thinking about my boobs you pervert! 
  9. “Gosh how will you cope you’ve got two little ones already!” – Well I’ll take each day as it comes you know… I’m still pretty proud neither are dead yet. 
  10. “You must not have much to do haha” – Just because I’ve watched each Friends episode 18 times does not give you the right to judge how exciting my life is.  

    So there it is you guys. If you’re not sure whether or not you are about to say might offend a pregnant lady hold your breath count to ten thousand and three maybe pass out and bang your head/and re think what you were about to say. 

    The end 

    Alex xx

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    Glamourising your mind 

    We are living in exciting times I feel good change happening but I also feel there is a different type of change a change where people seem to be getting their feathers ruffled over such things which needn’t be. To be clear I think people are being way too fucking PC. There seems to be no in between these days you’re either far right or crying in the far corner about something you’ll forget about in the next few days. 

    I love Netflix I’m all about that chill life. I love binge watching a series. And one of my recent binge watching sessions was over ’13 reasons why’ which is about a young girl called Hannah who sadly takes her own life due to bullies/sexual assault by peers at school. I suffer with mental health issues and have done my whole life. I could really relate to Hannah and thought the character was portrayed well. When Hannah reached out to a teacher at school about her assault and mental health he shut her down and didn’t offer much help or advice. There were outcry by tons of people online saying it was a disgrace but.. HELLO thousands of people who are struggling have that every single day from their own family, friends and teachers that is real life it’s a real sad reality. 

    All you have to do is switch on the news and see Bill Cosby with his creepy laugh getting away with sexual assault which 60 very brave victims have come forward to. Do people believe them? Of course not it’s Bill Cosby and people sure love Bill Cosby. And people tend to sure love their friends and family members who’ve been accused of such things so that the real victims who have had to go through such trauma are the ones labelled as liars and attention seekers. That’s something we should be getting angry at. Not a tv show so called ‘glamourising’ such things. 

    Conversations about difficult things are good whether we want to talk about it or watch it on a show it’s good to discuss ideas and ways we can try solve these problems. And if that has to be done through a Netflix series then so be it. Because how else are we going to get these offended millennials attention? I also find it incredibly naive to get so worked up about such things. Life is one evil bitch this is happening everywhere all over the world just like everything else you are crying about. Imagine if you went out and did something about your passion and anger instead of being offended by Netflix we would actually get somewhere. 

    I find the term ‘glamourising’ really sadistic. What on earth could be glamorous about suicide? If I were to place a pretty bow on a pile of poo would that make it look nice? No it wouldn’t. You can’t decorate  such things. There’s nothing desirable about killing yourself and if you genuinely think there is/start accusing a programme of such things maybe you should take five mins to think this through? 

    1. Is what you’re suggesting helping the situation? 
    2. Why do you find such things to be ‘glamourised’? 
    3. Could you not start a healthy debate about how Netflix/screen writers/directors could go about this instead of writing it off as bad for people? 
    4. Why do you think you speak on behalf of all sexual assault survivors/mental health sufferers? Have you actually asked people how they feel about this. Start a good conversation and re think your language. 

    There’s now a new Netflix show to cry over it’s called ‘To the bone’ this one is supposedly glamourising eating disorders. The actress involved and director both previously suffered from eating disorders so I feel it’s very harsh for people to point the blame at them and accuse them of doing such things. Imagine going through hell and then tons of people calling you out for the same exact thing which made you feel so shit. I feel bad for them. They are there doing their jobs. And creating their art. If you feel like such subjects would offend you then do not watch. Both these shows have put out places to get help and people to speak to if you’re in anyway suffering with these problems. I think they are genuine about helping people. 

    Like I said though I love the fact the youth of today are being proactive with politics, good change and being far more open minded. But that doesn’t mean we have to get offended over everything and cry when difficult subjects are being put into film. Imagine watching the Handmaids tale and accusing it of glamourising slavery or sexism it’s stupid. Instead let’s make sure these things won’t keep happening in real life have conversations with people not a pointless rant on social media. 

    P.S do not watch the new Despicable me 3 it is offensively glamourising yellow dwarfism. 

    The end 💋

    The F word

     

    Oh no please don’t say that dreaded word beginning with F. 

    You have a woman Prime Minister what more do you want? Women are now CEO of huge companies you have nothing to complain about!? Well I’d write a list out for you but I don’t have enough time on my hands or the energy as you’d argue the facts weren’t the truth. 
    I’ve recently become obsessed with the latest TV drama ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ based on the book  written 20 years ago by author Margaret Atwood. I’ve never watched anything on tv quite like it, it gives you all the emotions at once : Anger, happiness, nervousness, shock, confusion, sadness. Basically the whole time I’m watching I either want to punch someone or cry. The drama is very much a feminist story with feminist characters yet I was in shock to hear and read some of the interviews by cast members who still felt the need to dodge feminist questions or give out my least faveourite response of all time “I am a humanist” Why are these women scared to speak up in Hollywood about Feminism? Or just in fact say that they are a Feminist? It’s no big deal if you are a feminist you believe in gender equality. It. Is. As. Simple. As. That. 

    The thing about watching something as scary as The Handmaid’s Tale is that all the gruesome activities/punishments that take place have happened/is happening right now in different parts of the world. 

    Human beings can be very complexed but one things for sure is if we are surrounded by such activities or horrors they do become our normal, a way of life almost. We know such terrible things are happening but we still sleep at night we still get up the next day check our social media and get on with our own lives and that’s what makes something like The Handmaid’s Tale so scary. In the series there’s a quote along the lines of “this will soon be ordinary to you” and out of all the haunting scenes I can’t seem to shake that one off. 

    Here’s the thing how do we get men and women on board with being totally cool about feminism? Well I’m not entirely sure and I don’t think anyone is but I do have some little tips/ideas about how we can make it simple for our children. Raising feminist boys is just as important for raising feminist girls.  

    1. There’s no such thing as girls toys/boys toys or colours: how many of us have walked into a toy store and seen toy boxes with little boys holding/playing with toy hoovers and ironing boards? None of you? Yep not surprised. As soon as you announce what the gender of your child is the pink or blue clothing starts to pour through – we are obsessed with keeping genders in certain boxes and this isn’t ok. And if your son wants to play with barbie let him it won’t give him a life threatening disease I promise. The same goes for buying your daughter dinosaur themed toys – who doesn’t love dinosaurs?
    2. Arrange play dates with the opposite gender: it’s good for kids to be friends with opposite gender it’s an early step to appreciating another’s friendship/differences and having mutual respect for one another. 
    3. As parents display healthy behaviour towards women and girls : keep your comments about women’s appearances to yourselves. We often feel the need to talk about women’s bodies or tear down other women for their life choices this sort of language will not help your younger children grow into thinking open mindedly about gender roles/stereotypes . Often mothers put themselves down in front of their daughters saying such things as “I need to go on a diet” this sort of self disbelief/negativity will be passed on to your daughter. Do not tell your daughters they have to do certain chores simply because ‘they are a girl’ This will only make it a normal for your children and they will go on to do the same with their children. Actions speak louder than words. 
    4. Teach your son it’s ok to cry: I can’t even believe I have to write that but boys and men are told it’s not ok to cry or show emotion. Of course they have to its healthy and very natural why do you think your body gives you the reaction in the first place? Such phrases as “man up” are so damaging and hurtful. Crying is for everyone. It’s real and ok. 
    5. Be yourself: It’s ok being a boy and wanting to dress up as Elsa for your friends disco. And it’s fine to dress up as superman for your friends girly sleepover. You have to be yourselves not for anyone else but you.  

    Recently my 6 year old daughter has been coming home from school in tears and telling me that a lot of the girls in the playground have been saying “you can’t do handstands unless you wear shorts” this isn’t a school rule it’s just something a lot of the girls at school feel is right. Where are they getting this from? And why do they feel at the young age of 6/7 that it’s ok to police other girls bodies. Something as small as this can have a huge impact on their future and just by taking a look at our own language and how we go about having these conversations can make big positive changes. We have so much on our plates to worry about as parents. But my biggest concern is that I want my daughters growing up with the confidence that they can achieve whatever they want to do and feel as comfortable in their own skin as some of their male friends. We live in such a diverse world and yet we still face these small minded problems. 

    Let’s try and work together. Maybe you’ll start calling yourself a feminist. 

    Call me a feminazi I don’t mind. It has a nice ring to it. 

    Love Alex 

    Sports day gets a Nay from me

    Before you start.. I think sports day is a great day for kids but I’m talking about the kind of sports day that we used to have as children not the overly PC rubbish we have to put up with today.

    I am terrible at running fast especially with those hurdle things you have to throw yourself over for no apparent reason other to look like a demented frog, did that scar me for life that I came near to last? (lets pretend I beat one or two people) No it didn’t because running fast isn’t my thing and I knew I had other talents which I would be better at than others. I mean it wouldn’t be fair for me to have this face/body/personality/wit/charm and be quick at running you can’t have it all dear.

    These days children aren’t allowed to be rewarded with first prize if they win a race. It’s all a ‘team effort’ and you can’t just cheer on your child you have to cheer on the others. Screw that I want my daughter to beat your child I’ll probably get excited if your child fell over during race giving Florence a better chance at winning.. Lets pretend I’m joking.. which I am not.. but I don’t want your child to win. Florence is very good at sport and it’s one of her strong points so why shouldn’t she be rewarded just like a child being rewarded for passing a spelling test or doing well at maths? She comes home with maths certificates and writing certificates so why not give a prize for winning at sport?

    Last sports day I went to we were handed out Welsh and English flags. Welsh?! you wouldn’t see me holding a welsh flag during a ruggers game at Twickenham so why hand me one here? Why do we feel the need to push ‘its the taking part that counts’ attitude and ‘everyone’s a winner’ ok then hand me my A* maths GCSE because I turned up to the exam and its all about the taking part? right? No doesn’t work like that.

    Subjects such as Art and Drama are always overlooked as such easy unnecessary time wasting/breaks at school but as Einstein once said “creativity is intelligence having fun” you have to have some form of intelligence and skill to be artistic. I may be biased but I truly think Art is the most important subject at school it teaches us to look at the world differently it makes you feel and think clearer about certain things in life. I think art has made the universe a better place and it keeps us sane. I think all talents should be rewarded the same and we shouldn’t focus so much attention to those who can read write and do well at maths so much, Don’t get me wrong those subjects are important but they aren’t the only important subjects. Let’s face it has anyone benefited from Bunsen burners or Algebra? I haven’t I don’t even know what the fuck it is anymore. And don’t remind me or my brain will start to hurt.

    We are all different and that’s what makes the world beautiful, difficult at times but beautiful and that’s all we like drilling into our children’s heads that everyone in life has different qualities and that they’ll be better at some things than you but you’ll also be better at things than them so why cant schools start to have the same kind of approach? because they’re worried about upsetting or offending some parents/children. There are some parents who get genuinely concerned/rage/jealous if their child can’t win a race be bloody grateful we all had to swim miles to get here and won that mighty race so give it a rest. Your child will kick my child’s ass at something else chill.

    So if you see me rock up to Florence’s sports day (maybe its gotten to the stage where its not even allowed to be called that anymore? who knew sport could be so offensive?!) Don’t expect me to cheer on your child if they win the race then of course I’ll be there for high fives and congratulating them because they deserve it but I want my daughter to shine on her day and there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t worry they’ll get over it.. life’s a bitch and then they all lived happily ever after the end.

    Alex x

     

    The digital rage.

    Before I go ahead and write this post I want to make it clear this isn’t any parental advice blog because hell what do i know? I’m simply expressing my thoughts on the matter.

    Whenever we go out to eat (myself Mitchell and kiddies) I always make sure phones are in pockets and we are all talking to one another because moments like this are special. They are special because not only is it a treat for us to go out for dinner but family time and communicating with one another is something that’s high up on my important list. I pride myself on being honest and open with my kids. I love having family debates about politics, the world, different cultures, fashion It’s important to have debates and also bring up gobby opinionated children because they make the world a more interesting place I say.

    As I glance across the restaurant I can see adults glued to their iPhones and children watching cartoons or playing games on their iPads. Call me a weirdo but this makes me deeply sad. Why are children so glued to their ipads? Why can’t they sit up and talk about how school was or what Lucy from next door said to her today? It’s because they see their mummy’s and daddy’s glued to their iphones, being unsociable and they think it’s the normal.

    I know children can be a bit of a pain sometimes and going out for food can seem like an ordeal especially when the food takes long to get to the table and there isn’t any colouring to do. But why do we feel the need to shove a screen in front of them to almost shh them? When they grow up to be 14/15 (the ages where they’re guaranteed to hate you for no apparent reason just on the basis you’re their parent) surely they will be in the habit of just ignoring you and not getting involved with family discussions and talks because of the shh here’s your iPad/iPhone/iPod trick.

    Don’t get me wrong my 6-year-old is like any other spoilt 6 year old who has an iPad and iPod and yes if I gave them to her fully charged she would most definitely sit up and play on them until they both ran out of battery but I wouldn’t give her the option because I don’t want her to end up looking like sponge bob square pants and surely over using or usage during family time is a bad habit to get into. Like I said I’m no expert and you probably shouldn’t ever listen to me but life is short and even if you are arguing over what food they should get or shouting over the restaurant such things like “EAT YOUR VEG OR YOU ARE NOT HAVING ICECREAM” with the response “I AM SHUTUP” that’s better than a “hmm yep ye no ye no” not interested or not listening child.

    I think Mitchell checks his twitter as much as a heroin addict is thinking about their next hit. Social media and technology is so very addictive. It super scares me to think our children are growing up in this digital age with their lives splashed all over social media nothing to hide no privacy, so much room for judgement and trolling towards one another from fellow school peers. The pressure young girls feel looking at other instagram accounts of these fame hungry reality tv orange beings makes me sick and worried to my stomach, Anything and everything is so easy to access on the internet and it’s hard to regulate even on child safety settings you cannot control what’s being said on kids YouTube etc and it feels like a losing battle. We all need an escape from this unsociable life we ironically call “social media”

    So my mantra to my family is to pause and appreciate one another during moments like meal time and walks out and about, talking, playing and laughing with one another is far more important than anything on the internet. Drilling into my kids that family time is the most important thing will hopefully stick with them for the rest of their days as I want to take in every moment possible they grow up so bloody quickly!

    Let me know what you think!

    Alex xx